”D’oh. Wrong answer.
This is exactly what I’ve been afraid of. I wait for the man to start the conversation because I’m too afraid. And I’m afraid because I have gotten a book from the friend of mine who made me go trough this madness in the first place. The book’s called ”Tinder Nightmares” and it tells the most terrible stories of the humankind of the opening lines gone bad on Tinder. And if I was to start the conversation I would probably begin with some feministic-ish line that would totally go wrong. Like I just did…
No, I won’t start the conversation. Instead, I’m googling for hours if there would be some kind of an application that could match a face to a name just based on a picture. And when I can’t find such, I spend more hours trying to find a person on Facebook just based on his very common Finnish first name.
I want to know who he is.
But no. I won’t start the conversation and ask him. Like, what’s your name and who are you?
This is what I wrote yesterday of my experience on Tinder and continued with an advice to men:
”There are no wrong questions nor right answers. If you’re interested, be it bravely and let me know of your interest.”
I demanded, like, ACTION!
* * *
After publishing my writing I started to read this specific thought of mine out loud. Why in the world would I let the Tinder nightmares come to my dreams? Why would I let a fear of asking a wrong question stop me from potentially finding the love of my life? Why do I even need a guidebook and try to find the right questions. What’s wrong with the wrong answers?
This goes waaaaay beyond Tinder, now. But let my story of Tinder be a concrete and entertaining example of maybe something greater. Maybe something that concerns the whole humankind.
Right answers. Wrong questions.
Wrong questions. Right answers.
Right and wrong. One more fascinating extremity I’ve been writing of to you many times before*.
Certainty, that’s what I stopped to think. Does my endeavor to be sure and know everything beforehand stop me from doing things?
Are we raised in a way that praises certainty; that we always have to be completely sure of the answer before we raise our hands in classroom? Or that we have to have all the process charts drawn in Power Point and know the future for sure in order to be able to take the action?
But does life work that way?
Do we work if we think this way? Will we take action, will we ask to find out, will we encounter one another? How can anyone be sure of the answers if everybody’s waiting for the right question; if no one suggests options of which to look for the answer?
Am I afraid of asking questions because I assume they’re wrong to begin with? What’ll happen if I answer wrong, will I reveal myself?
What am I afraid of?
Certainty and uncertainty.
Questions and answers.
Right and wrong.
Fear and freedom.
* * *
You know what I realized yesterday after posting my blog? I think I might be taking questions and answers too seriously.
Does that mean I’m taking life too seriously? Now, THAT is a good question!
I mean, that’s what life’s all about: series of questions and answers – some better and some worse than others, some more right and some more wrong. And there somewhere in between comes the action.
* * *
What would you do right now if there were no wrong answers nor right questions?
Pictures: Mirkku Merimaa Photography
This blog in Finnish here.
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